It still totally amazes me that people read the stupid words I write down on this site. What floors me even more, though, is when people approach me to guest post because something I’ve written has inspired them to take pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard, as the case may be). One of my recent posts, The Importance of Being Single, did just that. My good friend and former co-worker Dhara Naik, shares why being single was so important for her. Read and enjoy! Read the rest of this entry
Just a thought I had after a few glasses of wine and the notes app on my phone… Read the rest of this entry
It’s easy to fall into a winter slump when it comes to your cold weather clothing choices. It’s snowing, it’s windy and it’s below zero temperatures — the last thing you want to do is worry about teetering in too high heels and having the wind whip its way through you not quite warm enough but incredibly fashionable coat. I get it. I understand. But there are some things you should never give in to, no matter how cold the weather gets. Read the rest of this entry
I’m not sure when it became (or rather, why it still is) an expectation for everyone to match up and be in a relationship. Sure, being single sometimes sucks. But I think we often underestimate the importance of being single. I think we put so much pressure on ourselves and on other people to be paired up that we don’t take a second to stop and realize that being single doesn’t make you less of a complete person. In fact, I’d argue that learning how to be single well is a skill that will be necessary in your quest for wholeness. I think being single teaches you a lot about yourself and a lot about life. Read the rest of this entry
It’s election season and politicians are all over the US, making promises about how the nation – and the world – will be changed if we made the decision to elect them. Well, I’d like to discuss some important issues for a moment. Let’s talk fashion. I could dress the world, here are some laws I’d get in place as soon as possible. Now there are many others I’d likely pass over my term in office, but we have to start somewhere. These are my low-hanging fashion fruit. Read the rest of this entry
I’m a girl in a lot of ways. I can put together an outfit like nobody’s business. I learned how to walk in heels before I learned how to use the bathroom by myself. I can take care of babies, cook a meal, and cry at the drop of a hat just because. I am a woman. But there are some things I just suck at. I feel like I shame my gender when it comes to the following: Read the rest of this entry
New York is probably the best city to be single in. I remember living in Rochester for a handful of years after college and was terrified of being single there. It was a city that screamed “settle down” and while I lived there, I was on that path. I wore dress pants to work every day, had a fridge full of fresh groceries and a boyfriend to snuggle on the couch with. But after awhile, I found that settling down sort of just felt like settling, and I left. And while I definitely don’t miss dress pants and prefer the many delivery options NYC has to offer, there are some times when being single sneaks up on you, like a change-of-seasons cold that leaves you unexpectedly bedridden for days. Read the rest of this entry
Dear Concept of Best Friends:
During a particularly strange evening not too long ago, someone said to me, “John’s my best friend. And I don’t mean that in the way that people just sort of toss that term around. For me, best friends are my family. They’re the people who understand and accept me without question.” Even though this gentleman went on to buy me about 6 Allagash beers, his words struck me. And I started to reflect on this term “best friend” that we toss out so frequently, about so many people. We use it for awhile. Then we stop using it. And we’re able to continue on as if nothing had ever happened. Like that person who used to be a best, and isn’t anymore, never existed. Like our lives weren’t interwined for a period of time. Because best friend, in today’s world, usually means someone who you spend a lot of time with. It refers to someone who likes the same things you like, who lives a similar lifestyle that you live. Best friend, in a lot of cases, really means convenient friend. Or most-like-me friend. It’s why we can let best friends come in and out of our lives like clothing trends. You’re lucky if you find one that works for a few seasons, let alone finding that classic staple. And like clothing, sometimes we outgrow our best friends. Sometimes we move across the country and a heavy winter jacket just isn’t necessary anymore. But yet, I think we still need it when we’re feeling cold because that winter jacket is sometimes the only thing that can warm us.
For some reason, I decided to track down “Everyone’s Free, To Wear Sunscreen” (not sure how old you readers are, but it was the graduation speech turned Baz Lehrman “song” in 1999) and there’s a line that says “Friends come and go, but with a precious few, you should hold on.” I think I have held on to some. I think I have let go of others. I think others have let go of me. And some more, well, we’ve let go of each other. Maybe because I tend to be a person who obsesses about relationships (all relationships, not just sexual ones), I get caught up thinking about what happened to the girl I was inseparable from freshmen year of college. Why did an instant bond disappear? Did we just need each other like a car needs those doughnut tires after a flat and before you get the real deal wheel put on? Good for a little while, but don’t go too fast. And get rid of that thing as soon as you can before you crash. What about the girl in elementary school whose house I knew better than my own? Did we outgrow that? Did I stop needing that the way I stopped needing my own parents’ house. That old comfort no longer found between those familiar walls.
I think we throw around the term “best friends” too casually, too recklessly. I think when we mean it, we should fight for it. I think when we don’t mean it, we should walk away. I think we should stop to think about whether we mean it or not.
There are not many things I don’t like about this city. I’ve written blogs, tweets and sonnets about my adoration of New York City. But like every amazing relationship, we sometimes have our ups and downs. And lest you all think this was an unrealistic love affair with no flaws, I’ll give you the inside look at what goes on behind the closed doors of my marriage to NYC. Read the rest of this entry
I’ve ranted before about how much your 20s suck. But you know what? They’re not all that bad. And we don’t get too much time to enjoy them. I think this is the first time in your life you’re really able to be introspective. Sure, you’re a disaster and trying to figure what growing up and being an adult actually means; but you also have a little bit of living under your belt. If you’ll allow me to elaborate on some of my findings, well then, keep reading: Read the rest of this entry