Category Archives: rants

Hollywood’s Love Affair With Unplanned Pregnancy

Really? Always so happy?

Really? Always so happy?

How many movies or TV shows can you name where a main character unexpectedly gets pregnant and decides to heroically keep her child? I’ve tried to think of this recently and I came up with a pretty substantial list: Sex and the City, The Gilmore Girls, The Secret Life of an American Teenager, 16 and Pregnant, How to Deal (yes, my favorite Mandy Moore movie), Saved! (another Mandy Moore classic), Juno, the list goes on and on. Read the rest of this entry

How I Know You’re a Douchebag

By now, you know I have a borderline unhealthy adoration of New York City (first time reader? check my archives, it’s evident). I’m not so delusional to think all 8+ million people in this place will be folks I can stand to engage in regular conversation with, but I feel like there are a lot of douchebags around lately. Maybe they just come out more in the summer. And let’s be clear, I don’t consider douchebaggery to be limited to an XY chromosomal pairing. Women can be douchebags too. We’re not exempt. But for the sake of this article, I’m going to discuss traits that, to me, scream MALE DOUCHEBAG. I’m sure I’m going to piss some people off with this, but I encourage your outrage. And I probably already thought you were a douche, so I’m glad we’re able to get that conversation out of the way. Read the rest of this entry

Things You Can’t Stand During a Juice Cleanse

My last of the green juices. It was a happy day

After traipsing around France and Italy for a few weeks and literally eating everything in sight (I mean everything. I had to take breaks during dinner to make sure I could get through all four courses and there was a mandatory 4pm Gelato Hour), I decided I needed to give my body a little break and avoid my walk being permanently dubbed the “high caloric crawl”. I did what any normal person would do, and immediately started a raw food diet in preparation for a three day juice cleanse. I know there a lot of people who did this sort of thing. But these are likely the type of people who also enjoy going to the gym and include “running a marathon” on their list of things to accomplish. I am not one of those people and I complained the entire three days I was drinking my way towards a healthier self. Here’s what I discovered: things that normally don’t phase you during a day become really fucking irritating. This is what I mean: Read the rest of this entry

Why “Girls” Is Just Another Poor Portrayal of NYC, This Time in Poor Clothes

behold, the grey tights

I’m not much of a TV fan (even though I have made some pretty bold statements about TV shows and their viewers in the past). I actually don’t even have a cable subscription in my apartment. But after a particularly painful process, I was able to secure my parents’ online information to score an HBO GO pass. I did this mostly for the True Blood access, but discovered Girls along the way. And I’m sort of obsessed. Like stayed up until 2am watching every episode I missed obsessed. I cringe. I watch through fingers spread over my eyes. I laugh and thank god that despite its striking resemblence to my life; it’s not actually my life. But the more I watch it, the more I obsess over the parts of the show that suck.

I knew as soon as I saw the opening scene that this would be a show I inevitably blogged about (4 girls, in their 20s, living in NYC — PMP and Girls share Google search terms, basically). I didn’t know what form the blog would take initially, but if I read one more article about how Girls is the best thing to happen to women since bras and Bridesmaids and how Lena Dunham is saving the city, I will spew. So I decided a rant was more fitting.  Read the rest of this entry

Contemporary Books You Can’t Read Anymore. Thanks, Hollywood

I’m something of a book nerd. I’m usually juggling 3 books at once, never able to decide what story I want to commit myself to (sounds like most things in my life, hm?). I’m also a bit of a book snob. I hate jumping on the bestseller bandwagon and I cringe when my favorite books end up on the big screen. In fact, there are some books that are just plain ruined after getting picked up by Hollywood. I don’t care how good they are, you can just never enjoy them in the same way again. Here are some of my favorite/ most hated titles of recent years. Read the rest of this entry

5 TV Shows You Should Never Watch If You Want to be Taken Seriously

It seems that every January, a slew of horrible new shows hit the airwaves with the promise of exposing all the idiots on your Facebook and Twitter feeds. These programs fall mostly into the reality TV category. You’ll see many people posting on their social profiles about how dumb these shows are, but their live tweets each week prove that they are regularly tuning in. Sometimes even DVR’ing so they don’t have to waste a moment of their mind–numbing adventures with silly commercials. Now, I don’t judge you for watching any of the below programs, but I just can’t take you seriously. If you’d like me to contine taking you seriously, avoid making public your love of the following: Read the rest of this entry

Why it’s OK to Hate America

I recently picked up a copy of the UK edition of cosmopolitan magazine. I was in a rush and there was some scantily clad blonde broad on the cover that could have easily been any number of US tartlets. Besides not being able to tell if I could actually afford any of the items listed (what’s the pounds to dollars conversion these days?), I didn’t so much mind or care that this wasn’t the US edition. Until that is, I came to a blurb about TV shows and guilty foods to eat while watching. Guess what they recommended to eat during a US show. Breadsticks and slushies. I felt so sad to be an American while reading that. Then I started thinking about the good old U-S of A. While I love NYC (a lot), I’m not particularly patriotic. There are plenty of reasons to think Americans are breadstick munching, slushy guzzling buffoons. Here are some I came up with (yes, a lot of them ended up being fucked up families…interesting trend): Read the rest of this entry