Why Four Eyes are Better than Two
What do Tina Fey, Zooey Deschanel (sometimes), Lisa Loeb, and yours truly all have in common? You guessed it. We’re all bespectacled beauties. And while films like Never Been Kissed and She’s All That tried to sway a pre-teen Mallorie towards contacts, I’ve stayed the course and been committed to “my look”. Yes, Gwen Stefani has red lips and platinum hair and I have my glasses. Or something. Anyway, in case you’re wondering why I choose four eyes over two, here are a few reasons:
1) ALL THE EYE MAKEUP – I am eye shadow and eyeliner junkie (well, I’m sort of a makeup junkie, but I have about 30 eye shadow palettes in particular). I also have a very, very heavy hand and like to pretend my eyelids are little baby canvases that I can layer loads of color upon. If I wasn’t wearing my glasses I would look like a drag queen after a long night out. My frames allow me go as heavy as I’d like and make a pop without scaring little kids.
2) They’re like shoes for your face – Gone are old school soda bottle lenses and nerd-bomber frames. Nowadays there are limitless options and styles for every personality and face shape. If you’re a frames-wearer like me, you own several pairs and switch them out when the mood strikes. I have my one main pair I wear most days and swap out several different styles to easily change up my look. You know what I’m very excited for? Warby Parker* (yeah, you know those guys), has launched a whole new line and I can’t wait to get my grubby paws on them. It’s called the Palm Canyon Collection and they’re limited edition (very exclusive, so I must jump on this opportunity). Here’s what I know about them: they just launched TODAY, the frames are created by melding sheets of woodwork-inspired acetate and tortoise acetate together (I’m not sure what that means, but sounds fancy), and my favorite part – no two pairs are alike. They’re like face snowflakes. Swoon.
3) You ARE the sexy librarian – the sexy librarian/ teacher/ smart chick fantasy is one we hear about all the time. And guess what, wearing glasses full time lets you live out that fantasy every single day. When you rock glasses as part of your look, you make. it. work. Sure blondes have more fun, but girls in glasses are usually keeping a pretty fun secret.
4) You can dress the part – I hate to fall into the traps of a stereotype. I know a lot of dumb people who wear glasses, but stereotypes are usually based on some element of truth. So when you see a well-dress woman with a great pair of frames (perhaps her hair slicked back and a pair of diamond studs to complete the look), you automatically believe she’s smart and that she means business. Even if you haven’t a clue what everyone is talking about, if you keep relatively quiet until you’re ready to make your point (admittedly, I haven’t quite gotten that part down…), you’ll maintain the illusion of fiercely intelligent in any situation. It’s much easier to play the part when you dress the part.
So vision-impaired ladies, consider not sticking your fingers in your eyeballs everyday and try rocking those frames proudly. If you don’t wear your glasses, you’ll miss out on all the casual fun glasses-wearers have (see proof below).
*Warby Parker contacted me to help get the word out the launch of their gorgeous new line. They didn’t compensate me or give me anything at all to write about their product. But I’m hoping for something. C’mon guys…