Monthly Archives: July 2012

How I Know You’re a Douchebag

By now, you know I have a borderline unhealthy adoration of New York City (first time reader? check my archives, it’s evident). I’m not so delusional to think all 8+ million people in this place will be folks I can stand to engage in regular conversation with, but I feel like there are a lot of douchebags around lately. Maybe they just come out more in the summer. And let’s be clear, I don’t consider douchebaggery to be limited to an XY chromosomal pairing. Women can be douchebags too. We’re not exempt. But for the sake of this article, I’m going to discuss traits that, to me, scream MALE DOUCHEBAG. I’m sure I’m going to piss some people off with this, but I encourage your outrage. And I probably already thought you were a douche, so I’m glad we’re able to get that conversation out of the way. Read the rest of this entry


Things You Can’t Stand During a Juice Cleanse

My last of the green juices. It was a happy day

After traipsing around France and Italy for a few weeks and literally eating everything in sight (I mean everything. I had to take breaks during dinner to make sure I could get through all four courses and there was a mandatory 4pm Gelato Hour), I decided I needed to give my body a little break and avoid my walk being permanently dubbed the “high caloric crawl”. I did what any normal person would do, and immediately started a raw food diet in preparation for a three day juice cleanse. I know there a lot of people who did this sort of thing. But these are likely the type of people who also enjoy going to the gym and include “running a marathon” on their list of things to accomplish. I am not one of those people and I complained the entire three days I was drinking my way towards a healthier self. Here’s what I discovered: things that normally don’t phase you during a day become really fucking irritating. This is what I mean: Read the rest of this entry

The Best Booze You Aren’t Drinking

Look at those faces ladies and gentlemen. Do those look like faces that casually sipped a few cocktails before going out to celebrate the (arguably more) drunk girl on the left’s birthday? Do those attires say, we slug back Smirnoff on the weekends? The answer to both of those questions is a resounding NO. I’m going to let you in on the best kept secret in the wonderful world of vodka… we were drinking Akvinta. Don’t say “God bless you,” I didn’t sneeze. That’s the name of a vodka that puts Grey Goose and Belvedere to shame. I was recently sent a bottle of Akvinta to review and share my thoughts with the world*. Not one to turn down free alcohol (or the ego-inflation of this little blog being asked to review a product), I quickly obliged. I didn’t want to sit in my apartment and sample the goods by myself, so when my besties birthday rolled around, it seemed like the perfect occasion to bust out the good stuff. Here’s what you need to know:  Read the rest of this entry