Breaking Up in a Facebook World

A few weeks ago I posted a blog about the trials and tribulations of dating in a Facebook world. The social network that has brought us together with best friends and creepy stalkers has created some complexities when it comes to dating; adding a whole new layer of relationship issues. If you’re lucky enough to begin a relationship with all the Facebook (and social media) complications, there’s only one natural next step: the break up. And unfortunately, Facebook has thrown a wrench into this as well. Here’s some advice on how to deal with your break up in a Facebook world: 

1) Untag – Facebook is the number one photo sharing site in the world. If a picture doesn’t show up documenting an epic weekend, it pretty much didn’t happen. Not only are the photos uploaded, but they’re tagged. Suddenly, everyone and their mother (including your mother) can flip through your photos and experience the progression of your life. When you’re in a serious relationship, you’ll more likely than not show up tagged in a photo with your significant other. You probably make a totally adorbs pic your default. When the breakup happens, the first thing you need to do is untag yourself from other people’s photos of the two of you together and delete all the cute albums and pictures you’ve uploaded. This will prevent you from logging in and stalking your own relationship after finishing a bottle of wine. It will also prevent your new beau from having to look at kissy face pics of you and your ex.  Removing photos and untagging is a win-win for everyone.

2) Delete – Basically you need to Eternal Sunshine the shit out of your relationship once it’s over. This means sitting at home on a rainy afternoon and removing all the cutesy lame posts you’ve written on his wall, deleting all your “OMG I have the BEST boyfriend in the world!!!!” statuses, and deleting everything he’s written on your wall as well. These are essentially your love notes to one another, and while sticking love notes in a shoe box is nostalgic, leaving them up for all the world to see is just plain weird.

3) Unfriend – now, not everyone needs to go this route. This is really a personal decision. I personally think the unfriend is for people not over the relationship. This is a fairly dramatic FUCK YOU move that is supposed to make it seem like you don’t care when really, you’re obsessing. If you don’t think you can handle staying Facebook friends with your ex because you’ll check his page every 5 minutes, burst into a fit of tears whenever he posts an update about how awesome his life is, or becomes friends with a new girl you’ve never heard of before – then by all means, unfriend your ex. The much more satisfying thing to happen though, is for your ex to unfriend you.

4)  Show your epic awesomeness – Someone once said (and yes, I’m too lazy to Google who) that living well is the best revenge. So if you’ve recently gotten your ass dumped and have decided to remain FB friends with your ex (because you are so not going to show you care by unfriending him), you should rub your happiness in his face as often as possible. Mupload the shit out of your nights out, posts updates about what an amazing day you had, and just overall accentuate how great things are for you. You could be totally lying, but it’s Facebook for God’s sake. People go on to stalk and to brag. And to make exes jealous after a break up. Duh.

5) Don’t break up with someone on Facebook – figured I’d add this in here, but if you’re looking to dump your significant other, don’t just change your relationship status to “single”. While Facebook makes it really easy to never have to confront someone (you can post on their wall, send a message, etc. – it’s so convenient!), this is no way to handle a break up. Do it face-to-face (I personally have never ended a relationship face-to-face. Text messages and AIM FTW!) but this is the adult way to handle it. Then go and do steps 1 – 4, because it’s sooo mature.


Posted on January 20, 2012, in dating and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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