Things that are only acceptable when you’re with your college friends
I consider myself to be a pretty lucky person when it comes to my college experience. While I made a handful of bad decisions, I also made a handful of amazing friends and even more great memories. I’m fortunate enough to have some best friends living in the same city and I get to see them and sling back cocktails on regular basis. Even more fortunate though, I have friends in other cities who I get to see for reunion weekends. We started the summer after sophomore year and have continued this, with pretty much the same crew, for the last 7 years. This past weekend was one of those Geneseo reunions.
Last year, we hit up Saratoga, NY for the Tom Petty concert and a weekend of sunbathing, shots and no showers. This year, we changed scenery and crossed state-lines to the fist pumping capital of the world, New Jersey. My friend Joey is one of those rare non-NY residents who opt to attend a SUNY school. Thanks to him, we did a good job tearing our way through Belmar last weekend.
As I reflect on the weekend, I realize there are certain behaviors that only come out – and are only acceptable – when you’re in the company of college friends. While I regularly see plenty of college friends who live here in NYC; something extra special happens when our visits become occasions. And this weekend, dear readers, was an occasion. Behold, the debaucherous behaviors:
Topics of conversation: I know (and if you know me, then you probably know too) that I have zero filter. None. I have a terribly dirty mouth and a perverted mind. I also have no qualms about just saying whatever pops into my head, regardless of how inappropriate. Thinking back on the weekend, there are things that were said, topics that were covered and statements that were stated that are under no circumstances acceptable conversation. I can’t even begin to write the things that were spoken (mostly because I can’t tarnish my good girl persona – ha!). And it wasn’t just me — the guys and girls alike were party to this sort of potty-mouth activity. It’s like we join together and someone develop a case of tourettes. And it’s awesome.
Your food choices: It’s totally normal to eat pizza at 2am right? And Chinese food? Wolf down a bag of chips and dip in approximately 10 minutes? Milkshakes at breakfast? In the real world, no, this is not acceptable unless you plan on being a future contestant on Biggest Loser. However, when you’re with your college friends, this type of behavior is not just accepted but it’s encouraged. It’s like you all know this is a terrible idea, but similar to the good ol days of peer pressure and safety in numbers, we all succumb.
Your drinking habits: Anyone reading this probably knows I enjoy a cocktail from time to time. As a 26 year old single girl in the city, cocktails are a way of life. Whether it’s happy hour, the weekend, or brunch; there are many ways you can include alcohol into your day-to-day schedule. But even on those nights you drink your body weight in Red Bull and Vodka, it doesn’t hold a candle to the type of behavior that is exhibited when my friends from college all join together for a weekend. We literally dropped our bags and cracked a beer Friday afternoon. It was 4pm. We stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of vodka, a case of Four Loko, a bottle of Cafe Patron and a can of alcoholic whipped cream. We went through 120 beers on Friday night alone. There were 7 of us. This is absolutely disgusting. But it’s absolutely a college reunion. We may not be 22 anymore, but we can still drink like we are. Cheers.
Vocabulary: Besides just the awful, no-filter-used conversations we have; there is also a very obnoxious way of speaking. It’s part Geneseo-code, part stupid stuff we used to say over and over and over again while we were in college and part we’ve been friends for 8 years so I just know what you’re thinking/ going to say next. Also, my guy friends say “Brahhhhhhh” A lot. It’s really annoying. They are the only people I know who do this.
Cell phone etiquette: So what if it’s 3am and you’re 26? If you are together with college friends, you must call all the other college friends in your phone and force them to talk to you at all hours of the night. On the couch enjoying some QT with your wife (sorry Matty and Cait)? Stayed in and decided to get some shut eye? Nope, doesn’t matter to the college reunion crew. We’ll probably call you once, hang up when voicemail comes on, call back again and then leave an 18 minute message. You’re welcome.
So is this just me and my friends or are the rest of you out there train wrecks when you get together with your friends from college? Go ahead, judge me in the comments.