First Date Tips for Guys and Girls











I know, I know! I haven’t blogged in weeks… I suck. I admit it. Now get over it. I’m back and better than ever.

I keep thinking about first dates. Probably because most of my friends are single and going on lots of first dates, probably because I keep watching lame rom-coms, who knows. I just have been. I’ve also found myself often discussing/ debating first date do’s and don’ts. As any good writer would do, I just had to share these insights with the masses. Behold, first date tips for guys and girls (conveniently listed by critical categories):

Attire (or What the Fuck Should I Wear?):

Guys – if you’re a guy, getting ready is really not that big of a challenge. You probably own like 4 pairs of shoes and a few shirts your last girlfriend bought you. Your biggest obstacle is deciding how to mix and match your few possessions. But I don’t want to completely overlook the importance of looking your finest, so I have one major rule of thumb for guys on first dates: DON’T WEAR SNEAKERS. Unless you’re going for a run on your date (and that’s not ok — see below for date locations), you should not wear sneakers. I don’t care if you’re in jeans and a tee; if your shoes are typically tossed into a gym bag, you’re not getting a second date.

Girls – it’s no secret that I find it frustrating when women are poorly dressed and un-made-up. Ladies, we’re lucky. We have so many options for make up, clothing, accessories, shoes, etc. so it shouldn’t be too difficult to find a stellar look for your first date. The rules I live by: wear make-up. Yeah, I said it. You should wear make up. I don’t care if you think you’re naturally pretty – you’re not. You might be naturally not-ugly, but I’d wager money that you’d look better with some make-up. Not everyone needs to go the full face route, but everyone can benefit from mascara and lipgloss. Everyone. Footwear? Unless your date is with a hobbit, wear heels. There are so many options in high heels now that you’re bound to find a comfy pair that’s perfect for a first date. They instantly make your legs toner, butt higher, breasts perkier. You can’t beat that with a stick. Clothing? Don’t get too dressed up.  This is the date that sets the standards for all other dates you’ll go on with this person. If you pull out all the stops on the first round, you’ll have nothing to work towards and it’s all downhill. So wear your favorite dress, not a new dress. And only plan to show off the girls if you’re ok with him staring at them.

Location (or Where the Fuck Should We Go?):

Guys – I’m not going to lie, I know it often comes down to the guy to pick out the location of the first date, and I know it’s hard. You have to decide on the type of place (something  fun, something quirky, something traditional – the options are endless!) which is often a make or break. If you’re trying to think of the best location that will ensure your first date leads to a second, just remember these few things. First, keep it indoors. Outdoor first dates are never a good thing. In the summer, it’s too hot and you’ll probably sweat. In the winter, it’s cold and you’ll get that weird ‘it’s super windy and my whole face is leaking’ thing. Gross. Avoid at all costs. Second (and somewhat related), don’t try to be all active or sporty. No girl likes sports as much as she pretends she does when you first talk. Sure, she might kinda like sports, or even be borderline obsessed over a team, but she doesn’t love the sport. Trust me. Going to a baseball/ basketball/ etc. game is not a good move. Either is meeting at the park to go for a run (my worst nightmare. literally).

Girls – now gals, we usually get it easier on this end. Because few things change in society, most guys still do the asking of dates and, as such, most guys usually have to pick the location. However, there are always those sneaky guys (I hate these guys, because I hate making decisions and prefer to just be told where to go) who say “how about Thursday night, say 7:00? Where do you want to go?” Ughhhh…no fair guy, that’s not in Punk Meets Pink Dating Handbook, you think. Play it cool. When it doubt, go with food and drinks. Your choice can be on any end of the casual/ fancy spectrum. Make sure you pick a cool neighborhood so if your first location bombs or you finish up earlier but don’t want to part ways, you can hit up another location.

Ordering (or What the Fuck Should I Eat?)

Guys – do guys even think about they’re going to order? I imagine it going something like this: Hungry. Food. Gimme THAT. I’m not going to try to change you fellas. But my one piece of advice (slash plea to all the men out there!) is this: Don’t order a salad. I mean, really, is there anything worse than sitting across the table from your date while you’re contemplating the tater tots or the french fries only to hear him order a salad. I’m a vegetarian but I’m begging you – eat a hamburger!

Girls – like we don’t already spend enough time stressing over this. Just take it easy. Order what looks good. Really, that’s the only advice. When I started dating my first serious boyfriend,  I only ate “cute food” for the first 6 months of our relationship. Cute food was anything that could be picked up or broken apart and placed in my mouth. Essentially, if it didn’t require biting or using utensils, it was perfect. I translated this to be: french fries and maraschino cherries. I also went home after every date and ate leftover pizza. I was constantly starving. It wasn’t until we spent one very long day together that I plowed through a plate of veggie tacos and rice and beans and let the cat out of the bag.

You? Me? Me? You? (or Who the Fuck is Paying?)

Guys – it’s you. Yup, call me old fashioned, but gents, the first bill is on you. Now I’m not saying you have to go out for an elaborate event and drop a few hundred bucks. Hell, a slice of pizza will work. But whatever it is, you buy it. That’s it. I’m not talking about this anymore.

Girls – while the guy should pick up the tab for the first date, for God’s sake ladies – MAKE THE GRAB. When the bill comes, reach for it. If all goes according to plan, he will also make the grab. Now this is key: grab slower than him. This will ensure he actually handles the bill first. He’ll insist he’s paying. You put up a little fight. He denies you. You smile and say thank you. If you’re left to pay, or worse – split the bill, it’s not the end of the world but it’s probably the end of the relationship.

All righty, those are just some broad do’s and don’ts. There will probably be a part 2 of this post sooner rather than later. Get me started with some more ideas – what do you think?


Posted on August 2, 2011, in dating and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. my first time reading your blog and i laughed so hard reading this! SO true on all accounts…i just went on a first date, really nice guy, really nice car, good place selection BUT he was wearing sneakers!!! enough said.

  2. haha thanks for the kind words and sorry about the sneakers. definitely not a keeper 🙂

  3. Mal, you’re amazing! This made my morning!

  4. It is currently summer time, what guy wears sneakers out? Get yourself some freaking topsiders or nice shoes for god sakes!

  5. Thanks Jessie 🙂

    @Joe — plenty of gents wear sneakers. see first comment

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