6 Things to Know Before Living Alone

Remember college when you shared a tiny dorm room with a complete stranger your freshman year? And then moved into a house with somewhere between 5 and 15 of your best friends? Remember how much fun that was? Yeah, those were the days. And then suddenly, you graduate and become real people with jobs you actually have to go to every day  and alarms you can’t snooze until it’s time to start drinking. And you get emails that you actually have to read. And you have to use your grown up phone voice all the time and your favorite ripped jeans are reserved for lazy Sundays only. And perhaps you live with all your best friends still (I did), but it’s just not the same. You’re adjusting. You’re growing up. And it sort of sucks. You can’t get away with never cleaning the shower and exclusively using paperware to avoid having to do the dishes. Storming home at 3am with tree branches, traffic cones and a few strangers nice enough to give you a ride is no longer acceptable. You all end up hating each other. And then, to save your friendships and your whole no-murders-on-my-record streak, you decide to live alone. And it’s awesome (seriously. Everyone needs to live alone once in their life. I urge you to do this). But like anything you do for the first time, there are some things you need to get used to and some tricks to learn before you do it well. 

5 Things to Never Settle For

Don’t be fooled by these happy pilgrims. Settling is for suckers.

There are so many things we can settle for when we’re trying to figure it all out. We might settle for a lower salary, a smaller apartment, and a knock-off pair of shoes until we can afford the real deal. We might settle for ramen noodles for dinner. But there are things we should never settle for, be it in a relationship, in our careers, or just in the things we know we deserve. Before we hit 30 and look back in regret, we need to have a heart-to-heart with ourselves and decide what we can bend on and what we never will. Here’s my list:

Hollywood’s Love Affair With Unplanned Pregnancy

Really? Always so happy?

How many movies or TV shows can you name where a main character unexpectedly gets pregnant and decides to heroically keep her child? I’ve tried to think of this recently and I came up with a pretty substantial list: Sex and the City, The Gilmore Girls, The Secret Life of an American Teenager, 16 and Pregnant, How to Deal (yes, my favorite Mandy Moore movie), Saved! (another Mandy Moore classic), Juno, the list goes on and on.

When You Should Stop Dating Him

I’ve long struggled with how exactly to turn my real-life dating explorations into blog-worthy content without offending my suitors who have friended me on Facebook or followed me on Twitter. I’m sure if they read they’ll be able to see themselves in there and I want to avoid disaster (do you guys remember when Big read Carrie’s book? Bad news bears). But I’ve been dating fewer people more regularly lately and the experiences are just too good to not share. These are some tell-tale signs I should have stopped dating him. Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent (and they’ve been blocked/ unfriended to avoid #thatawkwardmoment when the girl you used to date starts blogging about you #sorrynotsorry):

Realizations Had While Wearing Flats on a Saturday Night

Ladies and gentlemen, I wore flats to a Lower East Side bar on a Saturday night. Now, to clarify, I did not do this on purpose. I left my apartment in spiked Sam Edelman heels. But about 10 minutes into being at the bar, I literally thought I was going to start crying from the pain. And I was NOT sober, so you know it had to be bad. I ended up switching into my spare flats and realized a few very important things that might make me reconsider my shoe choices (hahahaha just kidding…).

No-Fail Ways to Make Yourself Really Sad

I know it seems weird, but we all do it right? We all do things we know we shouldn’t because we know we’ll just depress ourselves. And yet, it’s like we’re not physically capable of stopping it, knowing full well we’ll end up walking back to our apartments with Ray LaMontagne singing sad diddies in our ears (just me? whatever). Sometimes we need to feel sad, though. And sometimes we just don’t have anything better to do. Here are my go-to make-you-want-to-sit-in-the-dark-and-cry-for-days techniques:

“I Complete Me” – One Girl’s Story of Owning Singledom

It still totally amazes me that people read the stupid words I write down on this site. What floors me even more, though, is when people approach me to guest post because something I’ve written has inspired them to take pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard, as the case may be). One of my recent posts, The Importance of Being Single, did just that. My good friend and former co-worker Dhara Naik, shares why being single was so important for her. Read and enjoy!

Redefining the Fall

Just a thought I had after a few glasses of wine and the notes app on my phone…

Just Say No to These Winter Looks

It’s easy to fall into a winter slump when it comes to your cold weather clothing choices. It’s snowing, it’s windy and it’s below zero temperatures — the last thing you want to do is worry about teetering in too high heels and having the wind whip its way through you not quite warm enough but incredibly fashionable coat. I get it. I understand. But there are some things you should never give in to, no matter how cold the weather gets.

The Importance of Being Single

I’m not sure when it became (or rather, why it still is) an expectation for everyone to match up and be in a relationship. Sure, being single sometimes sucks. But I think we often underestimate the importance of being single. I think we put so much pressure on ourselves and on other people to be paired up that we don’t take a second to stop and realize that being single doesn’t make you less of a complete person. In fact, I’d argue that learning how to be single well is a skill that will be necessary in your quest for wholeness. I think being single teaches you a lot about yourself and a lot about life.